Beauty Within the Cracks

There is darkness here……lots and lots of darkness. There are things that happen that are honestly unthinkable, things I did not prepare myself for, or even expect to encounter. There are things that happen in this country that are unacceptable in my eyes, intolerable actually……but they also seem untouchable in many ways.

God is bigger.

There are things that don’t make sense…..they don’t go in order, and they don’t work like they should. There are things that seem so simple and are made to be so much more complex. Things that seem obvious, but are truly far more complicated that one could understand. Things that should require time and care, but are done quickly.

My crooked path is straight for God.

There are beautiful things…..beyond my imagination. There is strength in people that is truly heroic. There are miracles happening without question, and beauty beyond compare in the darkest of situations. There is beauty in simplicity, and beauty in complexity.

God is responsible.

This week I am overwhelmed with the people here who have truly let Jesus FILL EVERY CRACK of their hearts. Caregivers, kids, travelers, many many people. It’s not to say that the darkness doesn’t sting and ache….because it certainly does, and it doesn’t go away quickly. But being here is ultimately doing more for my heart than my mind. It isn’t about a state of mind, getting ‘used’ to tragedy, or realizing that there are things I ‘just can’t do anything about’. It’s bigger than that, and bigger than me.

It’s about letting your heart grow, learning to let your heart learn and flourish. This isn’t to say that it suddenly becomes easy, either. I don’t expect a “well, it’s meant to be, so it’s okay” frame of mind. It’s not okay. It is the hardest thing to do, especially here, even with a faith.

So, we have to learn within our hearts. We have to take what isn’t okay, and keep it deep within us. We let it push us, we let it urge us to move, and we let it encourage us to stick with something that feels so painful. Because, chances are, it’s right alongside what is indescribably beautiful…….and they will mesh together, and make your heart whole.

Let things break your heart……Nothing starts out beautiful. It grows in to it…..and for those of you that are thinking “But babies are ALWAYS cute, even from the beginning….”……I disagree. Don’t get me wrong, a fetus is an amazing thing, but it sure isn’t cute when it looks like an alien….

Don’t try to fill the cracks with a state of mind. It will only be a temporary fix, and nothing will be healing your heart during that time. Let it heal, break, grow, and break again. Keep it all within you and let it build you.

Let the ugly turn beautiful….let the dark see light…..and let your crooked paths be straight.

Walking away from it does nothing but abandon what could be truly beautiful.